Genitaliarism – world's cockiest religion

Published: 2019-04-27 23:59:09 Last update: 2019-04-28 19:55:08


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So, my husband joked that there should be a religion that worships penises. And since I'm a fucked up person, I immediately created one. 😈

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Enjoy! πŸ˜

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The Manifesto

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Genitals are godly.

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It's a fact.

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You don't believe me? Think about it, though... Do you enjoy your genitals? Do you enjoy playing with other people's genitals? How much would you do to play with them? Would you say that the urge to play with some genitals kinda controls the way you think or act?

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That's right. Genitals rule over you. They rule over your mind, they control you. It's just a fact. It's science, bitch!

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Genitals are gods.

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They have created our world. Literally. Well, not everything, not like the Earth, or the Sun, or anything like that. But screw those things, anyway. I mean, one is just some huge piece of rock, and the other is just a burning ball. How hard could it be to create those? Or those other planets that are so lame that no one could even live there? Boooring!

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But what's actually an important creation is all the stuff like computers, smartphones, skyscrapers, airplanes etc. etc. You know, the awesome stuff!

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Who created those? Genitals did! It was just some pair of Wright brothers' penises that wanted to impress some pussies and show them they could fly. So they fucking put their penis power to work and did everything they could to get laid, even if it meant leaving the safety of the solid ground.

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Any love poem ever wrote? It's because somebody just wanted to get laid.

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Any weapon ever created? Any huge car ever bought? Destructive, awful and stupid as they might be, they are undoubtedly fucking impressive. And created solely because some dicks wanted to look bigger than they really are.

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That's what really impressive. 99% of the things you see everyday was created not by some imaginary dude in the sky, but by some person, whose cock or pussy told them to. That's what really awesome! That's really godlike!

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Just look around. You can see the magic of genital creation everywhere! What more proof do you need? Genitals are gods! It's science, bitch!

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Genitals are awesome!

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You might be a straight guy who pukes on the very thought of looking at someone else's cock... But you still like your own, don't you? Even if you can't find that sweet sweet pussy you want so much, your own dick is good enough to make you feel great, isn't it?

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You might be a lesbian who couldn't give a flying fuck about dicks – but there's still some piece of meat out there that you'd die for, isn't there? Those boobies, those pussies...

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Whatever you like, there's some genitals in the world would make you happy, that make you physically fulfilled, that can motivate you to get up from bed each day and do awesome stuff.

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Human bodies give us an amazing variety of parts that can please us. Weather you prefer them long or short, fat of thin, lose or tight, white, black, Asian, mixed-race or whatever... Actually, hell yeah, why limit the definition of β€œgenitals” to just cocks and pussies? All of our body parts can be damn sexual, if we use them right! Whether you're all about cocks, or pussies, or boobs, or asses, or assholes, or nipples, or armpits, or feet, or mouth, or ears, etc., etc., etc... – the world has plenty to offer!

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We enjoy most of our (consensual, of course) interactions with genitals, and that's just a fact. It's science, bitch!

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Genitals deserve to be worshiped.

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I think I've already proven conclusively, that genitals are the gods that have created and are actively running our societies.

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And the very definition of a god requires that the god shall be worshiped, doesn't it? (If it doesn't, let's just make up a definition, nobody's gonna notice.)

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So feel free to get out there, find some consenting adults, and worship your bodies together. Or to discover your own amazing body by yourself, why not?

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Just make the gods feel that they're needed and appreciated for their effort in creating and governing our world. Whether in a onesome, twosome, threesome, or a huge orgy, whether same- of mixed-sex, whether vanilla or kinky – feel free to follow your desires and worship those amazing genitals!

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Sex and masturbation are basically holy sacraments. It's nature calling. Who are you to disrespect the nature?

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Also: be positive!

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It would also be great, if you learned to see the divinity in other human beings. They are, after all, the holy containers for the true gods, the genitals. Appreciate that.

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Treat people with respect – they are godly, after all! Whatever is in their minds, whatever is in their pants, whatever they say, whatever they do – the least you could do to honor the godliness in them is to give them some human respect.

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Fight for their human rights and their equal rights, regardless of their gender, race, orientation, beliefs, etc. – you might not be the fan of particularly their set of genitals, or maybe their awful personality might make them objectively horrible human beings, or maybe for whatever else reason you don't like them or don't care about them – but nevertheless, even if nothing else convinces you to respect their equal rights as human beings, at least do that for the sake of what's in their pants – the genitals, who (as I have already scientifically proven) are gods. Fucking respect that.

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Whenever you perform the holy sacrament of sex, pay attention to the consent from your partners. Don't you fucking dare disrespect the gods by entering their holy realm without an enthusiastic permission.

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Try to keep your mind body positive. You might not like someone's body or genitals. But believe me, someone does. You might not like your own body or genitals – but trust me, someone does. And they are awesome, they are godly, they are worthy of respect and worship. Love yourself.

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Let's make a religion out of it!

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Was a drunk while writing this? Hell yeah!

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But does it make it not true? I hope not. I mean, I'll probably still love human bodies when I'm sober tomorrow, and the reasons to do so will be as valid as always.

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Actually, it seems like being drunk has opened my eyes to the eternal truth about genitals being gods. It makes sense. Actually, let's make (a healthy dose of) intoxication a holy sacrament as well.

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Genitals are sacred. Ah-men!

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The Catechism

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Gods

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Genitals are gods. They have created and they rule our society. And by β€œgenitals” we obviously mean more than pussies and cocks – we mean all the body parts that turn people on.

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Sacraments

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There are three sacraments that please the gods and bring us closer to them:

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  1. Masturbation,
  2. Sex between consenting adults,
  3. Intoxication in healthy moderation.
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Temples

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Your own body is a Genitalian temple, as it is literally the place where gods live. Apart from that, any place where any sacrament can and is being performed, is considered sacred by the Genitalians, with a particular holiness attached to places specially destined to have sex in – like bedrooms, darkrooms, cruising clubs, etc.

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Priests

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Priests are people able to perform the Holy Genitalian Sacraments. That means everyone old enough and sober enough to deliberately perform a Sacrament with an intent of honouring the gods, is a Genitalian priest.

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Holy books

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Well, there is this thing called The Genitalian Manifesto, but it's just some drunk gabbing of some random dude, you don't need to worry about it.

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In order to truly learn about the nature of gods, you can just β€œspeak” to them directly. Just get to know your bodies!

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Commandments

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  1. Respect other human beings. Love them, ideally, but respect shall be the bare minimum.
  2. Respect their human rights and fight for an equal application thereof.
  3. Only perform sexual acts if given a willing, informed, enthusiastic, retractable consent.
  4. Be body positive. Learn to love your own body and not to make others insecure about theirs.
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Sins

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  1. Disrespect.
  2. Stupidity.
  3. Rape, i.e. sex without consent, obviously including also sex with unconscious, subordinate, underage, non-human, etc. partners, who aren't able to give a fully free consent.
  4. Body shaming.
  5. Slut & kink shaming.
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Afterlife

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Who knows πŸ€· Let's just hope there's plenty of cocks and pussies there!